


How to Love an Ahjussi by Kim Jongdae

by chuuyaks



Series: How to Love: Memoirs of People Who Think Love is Weird [1]
Category: DBSK | Tohoshinki | TVfXQ | TVXQ, EXO (Band)
Genre: Age Difference, Alternate Universe - Office, Bottom Kim Minseok | Xiumin, ChanBaek - Freeform, Everyone Is Gay, M/M, Minor Character Death, Office, POV First Person, Romance, Romantic Comedy, XiuChen - Freeform, jongdae is gay for minseok
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-02
Updated: 2019-08-27
Packaged: 2019-09-05 15:16:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 13,431
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16813237
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chuuyaks/pseuds/chuuyaks
Summary: The 24-year old Kim Jongdae wass never new in dating older people, but he never thought he'd find himself falling for his boss, the 37-year old Kim Minseok. He's the oldest he's ever dated, but he's also the hardest to get and the toughest to keep. But seeing all the struggles Minseok feels being in his age, Jongdae knew the love he had with Minseok was the most worth it.





	1. Prologue - Minseok-hyung's Birthday

8:00 PM.

God, my body was running, so was my mind. It has been a while since I ran, but I really have to move fast, goddamnit. There was sweat all over my face as I hurriedly ran from the bakery, surprising some people who were just walking around. But I don’t care, I don’t care, I just wanna get home right now—he’s probably waiting for me there.

My heart was beating fast and I was out of breath when I sat on my car before I turned the engine on and sped off. The windows were left open as I drove on the lonely road, making me feel the wind cooling off the sweat on my body (he’d scold me once I get home, I know it.). It was summer, so it’s not news that I’d be sweating on the way home, but then I’ve been drenched in it more than the usual, so I hope he really won’t be angry. After all, today was his special day.

March 26. Today was a cool day, just like him.

A smile was on my face as I tried to remember the cute things he did hours ago in the office. He was still doing his job silently like an old cat, but his cuteness was loud—Oh! I was about to run on a car. Kim Jongdae, you idiot! Do you want him to worry again about you? I sighed happily as the tension in me was gone, and I finally let out another sigh, but in relief as I reached the parking lot.

‘Meow.’ I turned around as I was typing the password. A dark grey cat was behind me, and it’s yellow-green eyes were watching me as I looked at him, only to realise he was the neighbor’s Russian Blue cat. ‘Oh, Kaiken.’

Kaiken reminds me of him that much: he’s cute; he’s tiny; he’s adorable and everything, but nothing beats it all for that tiny man. I patted his head and said a tiny goodbye as I entered my house, only to have that fluffy feeling from the cat be gone as I felt the lonely atmosphere inside the house.

It was cold. It wasn’t the cold that I felt when I was riding the car, but the icy, cold one.

But despite all of those, I hurriedly opened the cake box and set the candles, hoping he’d like this tiny surprise.

‘Minseok- _hyung._ ’

‘Jongdae?’ There were footsteps around as I tried my best to hide in the darkness—and then the door opened, revealing the tiny _hyung_ I really love, with his cat pajamas and messy hair. I can’t help but to giggle—he’s so cute whenever he wakes up from his sleep, and it makes my heart beat faster than ever. Only cute things can make me go this way, especially when it’s about him!

Seeing that I have the chance to sneak up to surprise him, I jumped behind and shouted a loud _Happy Birthday! You’re two steps on the way before your life starts._ , only to be given a straightforward and bored look from him. ‘ _Hyung,’_ I whined. ‘Why can’t you atleast act like you’re surprised!’

He spoke nothing—I was surprised about it. Whenever I whine, he’d reply back with some insults an old man could throw, but now, there wasn’t a single insult. Worried, I asked, ‘ _Hyung_? What’s wrong?’

Everything was already cold. But it became colder when he gave me no reply. But then he spoke, but his reply was like an icicle that struck my heart.

It was March 26, a cool day. It was my Minseok- _hyung_ ’s birthday, and I was trying to surprise him. But I never thought he’d surprise me like this.

‘Let’s break up.’

What?’


	2. three years ago, i saw your ahjussi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _'He's the baby ahjussi.'_
> 
> _'Ah...ahjussi?'_

‘Get out! We’re over!’

That was the last thing I ever heard of that _noona_ before I saw my belongings flying towards me.

It was another day, another lonely night for me again, according to Baekhyun, who was probably having a good time living with his rich boyfriend. I never met him, actually… He just told me that he’s handsome and rich—coming from a famous ass company I spend the night to guess about. I can tell he really loved him judging how all of our conversations whenever we meet out were always about how his hair was always curly when he’s not working; how he and his pet puppy look alike; or how he is really submissive in fuck—okay, I think that was enough.

Baekhyun and I, along with our Sehun, were actual hosts. We stopped from doing that kind of thing when I had the habit to date my costumers and the both of them follow me afterwards, and now I’m struggling to find a job and a place to live whereas Baekhyun was living his best life.

That guy always wanted to help in getting me a new place through his boyfriend, but I don’t want to be a burden, you know? I might be the reason why they’ll fight, if ever. And I don’t want that to happen.

About Sehun, you ask?

After quitting as a host, he decided to be a worker inside a pet café. He entered not because of his petting experience with Vivi (in which their relationship looked like husband and wife hating each other if you ask me), but because the owner was really enthralled by his beauty, (woop) big dick and energy. He was having a great time though, to say at least.

I don’t want to say it, but I’m the one who’s the saddest out of us three.

I stayed at Sehun’s place in a meantime to find myself as job, and then to pay him back along with renting a new place to live. Doing it in a short time as possible meant I have to find at least 3 decent-paying jobs, so I set out my foot to find that damn job that will make my life the best like I’m the bad bitch.

_I’m sorry, Kim Jongdae, but you didn’t pass the interview…_

_Wishing you all the luck, Mr. Kim…_

I can only sit on the restaurant with pure disappointment in my face, seeing that the bowl of ramyeon in front of me cannot satisfy my hunger as what I really needed was a job. It’s been two weeks already, and all I could get from these emails was them wishing me good luck because I didn’t pass the standards.

Call me a bastard, but I did my best in order to make myself presentable: I wore the most formal clothes I’ve ever seen (Thanks Baekhyun); I practiced how to be proper during interview and I also tried to give the warmest smile! What do they want already! Angrily, I slurped the food in front of me, hoping it would help me release all the things I’ve been holding back in front of those people.

God, I wish there was a genie poofing out in front of me to give me a job.

‘Uhm, can you change the song?’

My eyes immediately moved when I heard some man’s voice. It was loud yet it sounded so soft that it caught my attention, landing my eyes to a man sitting alone on another table a bit far from where I was. The look on his face worried me a bit, and it looked like he was about to cry. But despite all of those, I still found beautiful.

Oh god, Kim Jongdae, are you really serious about that? I don’t know about it either, but my love life has been a mess for the past months. I’ve been switching from men to women in different ages in order to live and stay longer with them because I thought if I’ll do that, I’m gonna find that love that I’ve been dreaming before.

I wanted to laugh at that statement. Me? Finding the love that I’ve always dreamt of having? It’s impossible.

But then my eyes, for the first time, decided to look at the man longer than I thought I should. He was really beautiful—he could be mistaken as a girl if ever he tries to wear a wig, and I noticed that he looked like he was rich too. He really had those fancy clothes; that suit he wore reminded me of the suit I am wearing right now and—

Oh, he was starting to cry already. The resemblance of Snow White and dropping crystal suddenly popped up in my head, and I'm not sure this was okay to me. I wanted to comfort this man and give him the hugs he needed but I can't —I don't know who this man was either, but the concern eats me up inside as he starts to eat like a tiny sad cat.

I did not go even if I finished my food as I tried to observe him. I wanted to know that he wouldn't break down if he finally finishes his food, but thank god, he did not. He was really gentle and quiet, and I don't think my heart can quite take it.

I'm very soft, aren't I?

Seeing that it was only an hour before the next interview I'm going, I took a deep breath and straightened my clothes as I walked, hoping to get some sort of self-reflecting. Judging from what I've seen and experienced a while ago, I realised that all the relationships I had shouldn't be called as they were, but instead a 'life support'. I've been depending all of my needs to my patrons when I was still hosting, and to the people who fancied me so much that they'll try to give everything they have to me—maybe I'm a bad person after all.

This is why sometimes, I hate being alone. Just being by myself makes me hate me even more.

* * *

‘Why do you think you qualify in this position?’ asked the good-looking HR guy as I sat on the chair, hoping he’d not notice that I was checking him out. He gave me a good moment to make me think before I answered, ‘I qualify for this position because I am an all-rounded, flexible person who strives in learning and improving more in order to provide the best service I can give.’

Our maknae said it was surprising for them to see me work as an office clerk, which I defended by saying that I wanted to try some new things on the way. What I said was true, but all I wanted to have a boring life in order to keep myself away from what I had before. But from what I heard, being an office worker in the happiest times of a company meant countless parties, so I’ve been praying my best that this company should be the boring-est of all.

I crossed my fingers, hoping that I’d be accepted in order to get myself out of this mess called life. Moving out from the HR department, I breathed in a sigh of relief; the constant nervousness I had in me was wrecking me up, making me almost fuck up the interview. While walking out, I took time to admire the building. It was really pretty, and from what I researched, the company here is just a Korean branch, and it’s original company was from Beijing. The beauty of China was already vivid, even though there are some Korean stuff that had been placed along with them.

I prayed that my company would be boring-est of all, but why does it feel like it wouldn’t be like this.

Calm down, Jongdae. Calm down. You don’t even know if you’re gonna pass their interview, right?

I was admiring all the beauty and honor of this whole establishment when I saw something more beautiful like a white cherry blossom. My eyes were fixed on a certain man entering towards the ID-pass-or-something that I don’t know about, and before I could close my mouth in awe, I realised he was the same man I saw a while ago. He still had the same sad face that I actually became concerned and went to the receptionist to ask. ‘Uhm, can I ask you something?’

‘Yes, sir. What is it?’ She gave me a warm, welcoming smile that I was uhm, taken back. ‘Who’s that man wearing a beige beanie?’

‘Oh, his name is Minseok, sir. The baby _ahjussi._ ’ I almost laughed when I heard the word baby—like it’s true, look at how his cheeks were squishing when he was chewing his food and how his skin reminds me of a smiling baby—but then I widened my eyes when the word _ahjussi_ came in next, making me stutter in disbelief. ‘ _Ah…Ahjussi_?’

‘Yes sir,’ She replied with the same smile. ‘He’s already 34.’

Wow, I thought at that moment while looking at him waiting on the elevator with some people, making him look like a child. I can’t believe I laid my eyes on such man.


	3. how i met your ahjussi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Why the hell do I sound like I'm in a mature, steamy CEO story anyway?_

****Sitting on the train, my mouth went open the whole time I was there.

The word _congratulations_ and _accepted_ shook me enough that I actually woke the entire neighborhood that time.

Normally, people would cheer seeing their neighbor getting a job, but in this neighboorhood, they'd give you the dirtiest looks you've ever seen. Well, I can't blame them. It was an hour before midnight when I received the letter, making me cry. It was strange to me since the office I applied for was pretty fancy, and that my record (you know, I was a host) isn't really that clean as you see, but I don't care. I'll be able to pay Sehun, whoop!

I finally managed to come back to the reality when I heard a kid telling his mother that I was already drooling, making blink faster than I could breathe, wiping the drool.

What I felt the moment I stepped inside the establishment was far different than that time I was interviewed. Every step felt like I was standing in burning lava, and I can feel my heartbeat going fast. There were a lot of people walking around somewhere, making me a bit of _relieved_ as I enter, yet I am still nervous.

I managed to find the HR guy who interviewed me the last time, his name was Choi Minho I think---and gave a smile as I went towards him. 'Good morning, Mr. Choi.'

'Oh, it's your first day at work.' He replied as I noticed his eyes going up and down, probably checking my whole outfit before he gave me a smile. 'You're really flashy even though you aren't in work clothes, huh?'

Before I could ask, he started walking around the office. People around were busy walking, typing and calling around, and to my surprise, they were doing this the same time while looking at me, even following to where I was walking. We then stopped somewhere on a little room, with the typical office with glass doors and everything, different from the others---and that meant they were a higher up. 'So, you're a Kim right?'

'Yes, I am?' I asked, unsure of what to say, making him chuckle. 'You'll be assigned to Team Kims.'

'Team Kims?' My eyebrows raised in confusion as I heard him, not sure on how to react again on what he said. Without replying, he open the door and entered, making me immediately follow him and a l m o s t ended up crashing my face on the door. The room was pretty much warmer than outside; well judging from the warmer placed in corner of the room that I saw first. Sir Choi had his huge back covering the team manager I am assigned to, making me not able to see his face---was he really that tiny or is it just the broadness of the HR's shoulders?

They were busy talking about something I didn't care about and just stood there, waiting for him to introduce me to my boss. A few minutes later, Sir Choi finally moved from where he was standing, revealing the man sitting behind the desk.

I can't believe.

It was the same man from the ramyeon shop.

His cat-like eyes were staring at me, observing like I am a prey in motion. I don't know why I suddenly said that kind of narrative, but that's how it felt like locking eyes with him. He was not handsome---he was beautiful, god I'm getting fascinated by him again. I managed to come back to Earth when Sir Choi suddenly spoke, 'This is gonna be your new boss, Jongdae- _ssi._ This is Kim Minseok, the baby _ahjussi._ '

I blinked for so many times before seeing him glare at him like a cat. 'Can you all stop calling that? It's getting annoying.'

'Well, it's the nickname that fits on you though,' He replied, laughing at his reaction before turning to me. 'Please don't be fooled by this man, he's on the way to 40!'

'Shut up, I'm still 34!'

They were happily bickering, while I stood there, frozen. It wasn't the chilly weather that made me feel this way, it was the feeling I had ever since I heard his voice. It was light; very, very light that I can almost hear a whisper, and that it sent me shivers to my spine when I heard him speak more than when he stared at me. I could only do nothing as they talk, leaving me like a motherfucking statue.

Why the hell do I sound like I'm in a mature, steamy CEO story anyway?

* * *

Later on, nothing happened.

Yes, you are reading it right. Nothing really happened to me.

I just sat down on some table watching as others do their jobs, unaware that I am constantly ogling at them like some idiot. Sir Choi told me to sit in and then wait for some instructions from people since they would help me familiarise through the whole building. But what happened was only me looking around to help myself familiarise since it seemed like photocopying and coffeemaking was also their own thing to do.

A few moments later, I can't hold myself from looking around, and decided to ask some young approachable fellow who was busy photocopying something from the copier.

'Excuse me?' I asked, hoping that the man would not ignore me like other people inside the office. To my surprise, he turned around and gave me a smile, showing his dimple then surprising me with his very deep voice. 'Ah, yes?'

'Do you need help in anything?' He shook his head. 'Thanks for asking, but I'm okay.'

I nodded and smiled before turning back to look around. This company is so weird, some would probably asked like a servant--wait, a dimple? Deep voice?

I checked out the features of his face while he was looking at me; curly hair, tall, kind-looking, deep-voice and submis--ain't this guy the boyfriend Baekhyun keeps talking me about?

'Uh, are you C-chanyeol?' I turned my head and had the audacity (but I was hesitant at first) to ask again, but he didn't gave me a frown, and smiled like the usual. 'I am, why?'

'You know Byun Baekhyun, right?' I was about to make the sign of the Cross when to my surprise, laughed. 'Oh, so you're the bestfriend Baekkie told me about?'

 _B A E K K I E ?_ Baekkie? He gave Baekhyun such a ridiculous nickname and he just went with it? Well, he's submissive, no wonder he'd be giving so greasy nicknames. I nodded. 'Yeah, I guess.'

And then he showed me around.

Baekhyun already told Chanyeol that I was applying on the company he's working at, so he asked him to have me learned the ropes. God, what did I do to deserve these two? I was about to cry while Chanyeol was talking and walking around but I stopped myself. Curious what his job is around, I asked, 'What's your job here, Chanyeol?'

'Oh, just the secretary of the company president.' He sings-song, making me shocked. No wonder why Baekhyun said he's rich---he's not even rich, he's RICH rich. He really secured the bag like an actual legend.

A few hours later, I thought I would die from all the stress and the buildup of the task, but I was already dying out of boredom! I'm about to start swinging when I found myself drinking and making coffee, until someone called me, saying Mr. Kim needed me.

Hearing those words, I felt my blood run cold and walked towards the manager's office like a walking stone. I can feel my heart beat every step on the way, along with a lump forming on my throat the moment I stood in front of it. I opened the door, and nearly froze when I saw him staring at me with his cold eyes.

But honestly, if you look at him, he just looks like some pet cat staring at you.

'Yes, s-sir?' To my surprise, he stood up, revealing he's just a few centimeters shorter than me. How cute, I thought, looking at him like he was the stray cat I often feed on my neighborhood when I was a kid. He then stood before me and smiled, extending a hand.

What I didn't expect is that he'd smile at me.

He fucking smiled at me! I already can feel my heart skipping beats, making me almost die at every second.

'I just want to formally introduce myself to you, but I can't since Minho was well, you know, annoying me,' He spoke cutely embarrassed, while I, a mere human, is watching him. 'I'm Kim Minseok. I'm handling you as the head team manager.'

I can feel panic coming from my veins as I already held his hand and shook it. I just shook his hand, and I can see in his eyes that he was already expecting me to say something.

Kim Jongdae, say something! Say something, you dumbass!

'I-I... I'm Kim Jongdae, sir!'

God, I should've just died. But seeing how he smiled as I embarrassed myself, I could not help but to feel all giddy, making me run after going out of his office calmly. Excitedly, I called Sehun with my heart feeling all tight and shit. 

_So how's your first day of work, hyung?_

I had a huge grin on my face. 'Sehun, I think I'm in love.'


	4. how i fell in love with your ahjussi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Team Manager Kim might be looking so harsh and all, but he's really cute._

Working with Kim Minseok shouldn't be some field activity you'd be screaming out with joy.

Even though he was cute, the job he'd give you will drain your life force!

Chanyeol warned me about how I'd never survive a month under him, but I just brushed him off, knowing how I suddenly got head over heels with that cute guy. But the hell I know, he'd be giving me stacks of papers to review and to summarize.

'Fuck, why am I being easily fooled...' I said as I cried in front of Sehun. We both agreed eating outside to get chicken, but it ended up into a therapeutic session with me regretting on every single action I did the past few weeks. This guy, however, had the audacity to laugh on my face. 'Didn't you say he has the coldest eyes? Like ice?'

'But I never knew that coldness would seep through his action!' I yelled at him, imaginary falls of tears streaming down on my face while I hold the fried chicken leg. It has been three months since I started working as an office clerk in the same company Baekhyun's boyfriend was working, and somehow, the feeling of having a stable job suddenly was into me, making me move to tears every night when I go to sleep (and that probably annoyed Sehun at night since I really cry loudly). At last, I thought, I can now live the life without depending on others and that I can now move out and pay him all the rent, but then, seeing my team manager's face... maybe, I fell for him?

'So,' He suddenly spoke after finishing a wing, and looked at me in the eye. 'You really fell for him?'

'Yeah,' I replied, my eyes trailing up the ceiling like some idiot thinking he'd see something other than the light bulb and wood. 'I'm really falling for him.'

'What the hell does he look like for you to fall for him?' He gave me a disproving look. 'From what I remember, it's rare for you to fall since you're extremely picky.'

'What the fuck?!' I glared at him. 'Just because I'm very picky, I can't fall in love like a normal person now?'

'Well, who said you're normal anyway...' He mumbled, making me glare even more as I went near him. 'What did you say?'

'Nothing, little bitch. So what the fuck does this team manager of yours look like?'

'Can't I just show you his face from my SNS?'

'Do you even remember that you only have an email and KakaoTalk?'

Oh. He'sright. But what does Minseok look like exactly for me?

Sehun was staring intently at me as if he was waiting for an answer. Peeling the chicken skin, I tried to think. Minseok looks... Minseok looks.... Minseok looks... Minseok looks...

'He looks like a cat.'

'Meow.' Ew, what the fuck. Seeing my reaction, he laughed as hard as a rock, almost making the bones fall on the floor due to his body shaking too much. Now that I said that, ain't I right? He really does look like a cat. Even if I say those words, the word I'd still compare him is beautiful. 'I don't know now, Sehun. It's just that he's beautiful like a cat. His eyes were really almond shaped, along with that soft feeling. You know that, right?'

'How am I supposed to know? I'm not you.'

'You!' I whined. 'Just imagine the feelings I have right now!'

'Shut up, _hyung_ and eat your chicken.'

'Oh Sehun!'

* * *

All my sorrows that night ended up to me drinking alone and annoying Sehun by singing some sad songs that I learned from those days when we were still hosts. 

And the morning after, well we all can guess, I went up to work looking wasted.

As expected, I've been made as the subject of jokes by Park Chanyeol's headass. 'Did you party too hard last night, Mr. Kim?'

'Shut up, I'm sad.' I immediately replied as I placed down my things and turned on the computer. 'You shouldn't talk to me like that, I'm your _sunbae-nim._ '

'I'm sorry, _sunbae-nim._ ' I replied back with sarcasm enthusiastically. If it weren't for the fact that he's Baekhyun's boyfriend and that he's the director's secretary, I'd be beating the shit out of him. I was on my limit on him pestering me when I suddenly heard a voice, making us both turn around. 'Why is Mr. Park around here?'

Oh shit, it's Mr. Kim. His eyes were coldly staring at him as he stood up from trying to crouch to my level and Chanyeol gave him a warm smile. 'Well, I was just visiting a friend of mine...and Oh, Mr. Kim?'

'What?' I flinched when we asked the same question in unison, making me turn away from him.

'We're having a drinking party for the newly recruits tonight!'

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. That's what I fear the most. I've already drank last night, and now I have to drink again in front of my co-workers. There was a weird feeling on the pit of my stomach as I tried to think on what will happen later on, since I've watched enough movies of company drinking parties that ended up making the new recruit drink all the booze. I want to dieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

'After three months?'

'We actually waited for Mr. Kim to join with us, so yeah.'

Who the hell is the other Mr. Kim he's talking about?

As Chanyeol went away, the team manager didn't say a word and just went inside his office. Now that I have thought about it, Mr. Kim is such a silent person. I never heard such word from him except when there's Mr. Choi annoying him or when his telephone's ringing. He doesn't say much but his eyes and actions says it all.

But he also does some cute things! I've noticed for the past few months, he has the tiny habit of opening and closing his hands whenever he goes outside without his glasses like a 5-month old baby trying to grasp something. When that time a coworker bought her sister's pet hamster because there wasn't a person looking after, I saw him frequently going out of his office just to talk at it cutely. DAMN UGH he's so cute.

Team Manager Kim might be looking so harsh and all, but he's really cute.

* * *

'Now, I'd like to present you... the master of the ceremony and our very own director, Kim Junmyeon!'

Everyone clapped as the said director stood up with a sheepish smile on his face. He looked young, and all the ladies gawked their eyes at him. 'I'd like to see who are the new addition to our company, please raise your hands.'

All of us hesitated at first, but after we all raised, he suddenly bowed, making us surprised. 'I'm sorry for delaying this drinking party! I just finally heard about it when this idiot---'

I can see him kicking Chanyeol on the side. 'I mean, my secretary told me about it. Now, let's get it started!'

'Thank you for the food!'

The whole party wasn't something I have expected. It was full of laughter and jokes, and there wasn't that much alcohol around even if it's called a drinking party. Director Kim was having the time of his life telling dad jokes whilst other are just talking. I've been expecting for them to pressure us newbies into drinking the whole night, but instead they've been forcing us to do our thing.

Ah, this company is very fascinating that I don't even know what to expect.

Discreetly, I moved my eyes around to find Team Manager. When I finally found him, he was there eating with a man and it seemed like they are very close with each other, judging how their bodies were moving and how their mouths were conversing in a bit of a close manner. It's not that I'm jealous, but I can't help myself but to be curious on what Mr. Kim looked like without that cold exterior.

'Team Manager Kim is always cold...he only warms up to him.' I turned to see Kim Yerim give a sad look on her face while she poured a bottle of soju on her glass. 'Most of us had worked with him for a few years, and yet he still doesn't warm up to us---only to him.'

My ass was curious, so I asked, 'Who is he?'

'Oh, he's Jung Yunho. He's from another department though. That guy's too full of passion.' She replied. But knowing how hungry I was for answers, I asked, 'What relationship do they have?'

'Ah, nothing. Just friends, although he's someone who was a rival of Mr. Kim.' I couldn't believe in my ears all the words she said. Minseok is competitive? I mean, yeah he could be... but what was the reason why he was like that?

'Hey you..'

'Yeah?' I raised her an eyebrow.

'Don't you know he's cold now because of his dead lover?'


	5. this ahjussi is moping

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _But I'm curious---Kim Minseok, why are you so cold? What did they do for you to be this cold on everything?_

I...I did kind of expect this.

Right, there's no _hoobae-force drinking-'till-the-sun-rises_ trope, but they have _take-home-a-drunk-subae_ trope.

It wasn't that I will be happy since I'll be the one holding and taking care of Mr. Kim, I was--very well---unhappy for the fact he is drunk, and I know what will happen to people who take care of drunks. They'd be taking care of a hopeless case---like with Baekhyun who cries a bucket-load while talking about the fights he had with Chanyeol and only end up crying another one when they reconciled. Happy motherfuckers, aren't they?

I expected that Mr. Jung would take care of this _ahjussi_ since they're close friends and all, but instead it was him, after two shots of soju, who got helplessly drunk. He was dragging Minho, who was in a funny situation since he was trying to fight him so that he can follow to where the next round was. I, on the other hand, was surprised that this _ahjussi_ I have here finished an entire bottle--only to see him collapse on Director Kim's shoulder (I wish it was me lol). Chanyeol then pushed on taking him home, saying _it's the hoobae's job to take care of his sunbae_. I'm gonna report to his lovely _b a e k k i e_ how much he exploits me in his shit just because he was the director's secretary.

'Hngggg....' was the only sound that came from Kim Minseok's mouth as we walked together, with me supporting his drunk ass with my body. We walked like we were dancing ballroom--left, right, left, right, swaying into any direction his drunk ass wanted. When I said I want to have an alone time with him, I didn't mean that I would be taking care of this hopeless case. I really like him--but I don't want to be his care-taker! I want to go to sleep now! 

Luckily, there were benches around. I let him sit in one as I went to a vending machine, thinking it would be a great idea to sit around and let my mind wander in fantasy with the person I like. With two grape-flavored sparkling water cans on the both of my hands, I walked, only to see him look like some dead motherfucker---his mouth was open as he leaned on the bench, clearly looking at the night sky. I tried my best not to laugh in this situation as I went nearer, but I really want to talk to him, so I placed the cold can on his cheek.

But I didn't expect his reaction.

He hissed.

He fucking hissed.

Like a fucking cat.

I----

A grumpy Minseok was beside me, cheeks red due to the amount of soju he drank. His eyes were surprised to find me beside him, sitting on the bench drunk. I could only give a small laugh as I try to suppress giving a huge, loud one---but I could think on him giving me a lecture the next day, so no. The sound of him opening his can was the only loud thing in this silent place, and I didn't expect him to be like, feeling lonely.

This is my chance on getting to know him, bitches!

'Uhm, Mr. Kim?' I asked, trying to act shyly in front of him. His eyes were unwavering and are fixated at the sky, but he did not say anything. At that moment, I thought he was pretty with the sunlight---is it really just me or that the city lights were off---but I think he was more beautifully being bathed in the moon light. He still kept himself silent and I know that he's drunk but _Mr. Kim, interact with me please._

'I miss doing this.' I blinked my eyes twice after hearing that. His tone was slurred and it sounded like some soft mumble, yet I can hear it clearly with my attentive ears. Hearing it felt that he was lonely and sad, and that it brings back the memories. Was there something that made him feel like this?

_Don't you know he's cold now because of his dead lover?_

Ah, I remember what Yerim said. He actually had a dead lover before.

Afterwards, he didn't speak. I wanted to ask, but I felt like the question is too sensitive for him, and I fear that the current state of our relationship would be given more distance, making it harder for me to have a chance with him. But I'm curious---Kim Minseok, why are you so cold? What did they do for you to be this cold on everything?

'Mr. Kim, are you okay?' I finally asked, hoping that he would open his heart for me. Instead of answering me with a yes or no, he turned his head to me before moving it back to the stars. A sad, bitter smile appeared on his face and that made my heart crack a bit. 

'I just missed doing this with him.' Again, he spoke in a slurred manner. 'Those were the happiest times of my life...I...I reg..regret..'

I can slowly feel him going into a breakdown as his eyes shone in the moon light, with tears ready to fall in any moment. Immediately, I went to his side and hugged him tight. I don't care if my working shirt would be wet, all I need to do is be Mr. Kim's shoulder for this breakdown of his. Unexpectedly, he hugged me tight, clinging into me as if he was wanted to be saved. Even if it was a sad moment, I think Mr. Kim crying is beautiful.

'I..I wish...I...I w-wish I didn't..tell...h-him to fuck off...' I know this is shameless of me, but I rubbed his cheek with my hand without hesitation, hoping it would comfort him. My chest was already wet, but I could only sigh as I looked into his eyes, worried and sad for the small thing in front of him.

So, it was a him... right?

Mr. Kim was so in love with him that he became a mess when he left him.

Maybe this thing happening in front of me is maybe a call for me to stop on hoping that I would have a chance.

* * *

Wow, such a beautiful face in front of me.

I blinked once. The smell of alcohol is still around, but I don't mind. How beautiful. Team Manager Kim stayed in my house as soon as he was already okay. I didn't know where the hell did he live, so we ended up crashing on my bed. He was so cute when he slept, but since I got tired carrying him around, I didn't get to see more of it. How sad of me.

Without thought, I blinked again.

He blinked back.

Fuck. I've been caught. My eyes widened at the person in front of me, who was still unaware of what the fuck's happening in front of him. In panic, I stood up in bed and ran towards the kitchen, hoping it would lessen the embarrassment that I felt. My ears and cheeks are already hot when I entered, making me rush on trying to cook on something great for breakfast for him.

Toast? Where the hell is the bread? W H E R E I S T H E B R E A D ?

Dammit, I should be preparing for our breakfast, yet I was still on bed, watching him sleeping like some creep. There was footsteps coming toward me as I was busy trying to lay out ingredients, only to get my attention when he suddenly talk. 'Good morning, uhm where am I?'

Oh. My. God. He was standing by the counter, rubbing his eyes. His hair was a mess and somehow seeing him wearing my clothes made my heart beat so fast. FUCK. I shouldn't be thinking about this. Without thinking because I am a dumbass, I immediately performed a _dogeza_ in front of him and faster than lightning, I apologised; 'I'm really sorry, Team Manager. I should've cooked breakfast. I must've creeped you out. I'm really---'

'Oh. It's you, Jongdae.'

H E C A L L E D M E J O N G D A E.

J O N G D A E.

I was about to explode, but I don't want to embarrass myself in front of him twice today. As I stood up, I saw him smiling brighter than the sunshine outside, making me all giddy like some idiot. 'Ah, M-mr. Kim...'

'Call me Minseok- _hyung_ , Jongdae. We aren't at the office.'

C A L L M E M I N S E O K - _H Y U N G_.

I C A N C A L L H I M M I N S E O K - _H Y U N G_.

I can feel myself having mental nosebleed into what he was saying. God, why did you make such beautiful creature like him? On the other hand, I was able to whip up French Toast and coffee for breakfast. Even though I thought it was awkward, I explained to him what made him end up here in my house, not mentioning the fact that he had that sudden mental breakdown over a memory. He was kind of cute, like a tiny cat (Yes, Jongdae, we know) being fed by its owner.

Before I could panic as I saw how relaxed he was, he then told me that it was Saturday and that meant day-off. The way he laughs is...beautiful. If I would be given a day where I could have Minseok talk in front of him, all I would is stare at him until my eyeballs pop out of their sockets. The more time I spent with him, the more I felt lighter and the fucking hell---I'm falling more and more in a rabbit hole called love, dammit. 

But then again, I cannot have him forever since we are not really friends....wait are we even? We're just co-workers.

There was a huge smile on his face as he stood before the door, making me smile back with such enthusiasm that I don't usually pull. It's time for him to go, I guess. 'I'll see you at work, Jongdae.'

'Me too, _hyung._ ' I replied, opening the door for him. As I was about to see him off, he suddenly pulled me into a hug and whispered, 'Thank you for taking care of your useless _sunbae._ '

I was speechless. BUT BITCH IT WAS EVEN MORE WHEN HE SUDDENLY KISSED ME ON THE CHEEK. 'See you.'

'S....see you.'

As soon as he was out of my sight, I immediately ran inside and closed the door. Sliding like some paper, I leaned on the door, heart beating fast and blushing like some idiot in a shoujo manhwa.

What the hell was that?

Why the hell did _hyung_ do that?


	6. i can't do this

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _But how can I use my feelings against that dead man he's too hung up with?_

'He's still alive right?'

'Yeah. I don't know what happened to him, but it looks like he saw a ghost today.'

'You said he was with someone here last night, Sehun?'

'Yeah, maybe it's that _ahjussi_ that he's obsessively in love with _._ '

'What?! Did you see his face?'

Two people are inside the house as I laid my face flat on the floor, probably passing out due to the sudden shock. I was having the moment of my life as I slid my body on the door, still surprised on that tiny peck on my haggard cheek, but then there came a baNG!, placing me in this situation now.

But that time, did the gods of the east read my prayers and sent me a miracle?!

'Oy, _hyung._ ' I flinched the moment a huge hand slapped my ass, making me sit up in no time. As I turned my body, I saw two dumbasses standing in front of me, smiling creepier than the Chesire cat. 'What the fuck do you think you're doing?'

'Well, slapping your ass...I guess? You're spacing out.' replied Sehun as he walked to the kitchen, placing the plastic bags he bought somewhere. Realising how this dickhead had finally decided to show up after all this time, I stood up and ran, tackling him down with a bunch of lectures on my head. 'Where the fuck did you go? Why aren't you last night? Did you spend the night on your boss and fuck---'

To my surprise, he pecked my lips with an accompaniment of a sly smile. 'Chill, little bitch.' 

'My, my, I never thought you'd lay a hand on our _maknae,_ Mr. Kim.' Turning my head to where he was, I gave Byun Baekhyun a bored look before I stood up, walking to where he was. He was giggling at the moment, but it suddenly vanished when I held his chin, making me smirk as I whispered seductively, 'Don't you think Chanyeol- _sshi_ would be happy if I laid mine on yours?'

The air inside the house suddenly went intense for a second as we looked into each other's eyes, but the loud growling of Baekhyun's stomach ruined the mood, causing the three of us to burst into laughing fits. 

'So you were in this house all along?!' My eyes widened as the _maknae_ explained why he just appeared so late in the moment. He went home even later than us, and didn't bother to annoy me in my room when he saw two shoes at the door. _Giving me a chance,_ as what he said, he went to Baekhyun's early in the morning to inform him about Minseok. The two were eating breakfast when the amazed look on Baekhyun's face as upon seeing my reaction made me want to punch him in the face, but the fact that I realised that I kept calling this house as mine made shut my ass. He then asked, 'So Jongdae, is it him?'

'Hm?'

'Is it that _ahjussiI?'_

'Hmm, try to guess.' I replied, causing Baekhyun to slam his hands on the table. 'Is it him?!'

'Didn't you get to see his face, Sehun?' I asked, ignoring the murderous look that idiot is giving me. Sehun, on the other hand, shook his head like a little baby, making me realise why I really like him around than him. To my surprise, the face that I've been cautiously caring for was grabbed by his hands when he tried making me turn to him. 'Why can't you answer properly when someone is asking you, little bitch?'

'Isn't it obvious, twat?' I retorted, glaring to my maximum power with the hope that I'm gonna burn his eyes. This mess of a breakfast ended with them bombarding questions about me and Team Manager Kim; such as asking if he was great in bed---yes he was great on taking up my space; on how the hell did I manage to snatch him----because it was this bitch's boyfriend who pushed it to me; or did I kiss him---which was immediately answered with a no, because I don't want to kiss someone who made me dance tango with him in the middle of the street. Out of the questions that they asked, there was one that caught me of guard.

'Is he single?'

'Yeah.'

'And does he aim for dicks?'

'Yeah, maybe?'

'The hell you are unsure for?'

'I remember someone saying that he had a male lover before, but I'm unsure of trying to get a chance.'

'What are you unsure for? Secure that bag like an actual legend, Jongdae. Use your skills as a host!'

'Yeah, but how can I use it against that dead man he's too hung up with?'

The color of their faces that was once bright suddenly turned into dark, drained ones. I am proud of my skills of making the people I'm interested with fall for me, but seeing this huge obstacle made me feel uneasy for the first time. What if I'm gonna remind him of that dead lover of his? What if I'm just gonna reopen and rub salt on his wounds? What if I'm gonna hurt him more than what his ex-lover did?

Doubt was all over my face the moment I've never expected, and it made me unable to do things to progress in this somehow blooming relationship with him. It's piling up all over me, and no matter what I do or think, it would end up stacking on me. 

'Relax, _hyung._ You're still on the first step, remember?'

Those cold, yet calming words of Sehun made these anxious sensation stop as he place a hand on my shoulder, along with that kind smile of his. Maybe he's right---I'm still on the first step on this conquest to Team Manager's heart, and I have to try my best. Another hand was on my other shoulder, but it was suddenly changed as a heavy cheek was on it, making me realise it was Baekhyun himself, comforting me like a baby. 'Also, we don't know know what will happen if we don't try right?'

Yeah, perhaps this isn't something to worry about. I can do this.

* * *

No, I take it back. I can't do this.

It has been a week since that time Team Manager kissed my cheek, and I've been trying my best to hide the fact that my heart becomes like those of a shoujo girl's whenever I see him around because that moment replays on my head like a recorder on repeat. Our relationship, you ask? It has gotten even better! Unlike before, there was now a familiar aura on this _ahjussi,_ and everyone was amazed as he can now talk with them with a smiling face. He was actually friendly and light, but not as much as Director Kim though. Chanyeol on the other hand, has probably forgotten his responsibilities as a secretary and decided to cling into me like a huge koala, still crying about how Baekhyun made him exhausted the night before (which is an information I don't want to know about first thing as I go to work). 

With this sudden progression, I've come to observe that he has gotten even more cuter when he does things unconsciously. At the same time, I've finally gotten to closer to him, and has been promoted from the ' _rookie who barely made it_ ' to ' _coffee maker_ '! The feeling I get whenever I go to get him coffee excites me a lot and my chest suddenly feels tighter than usual. I still can't believe I'll be getting a crush after playing all of my life. 

But then, no matter how it got advanced, I still can't do it.

I can't flirt with him nor ask him on a date, because I actually get scared if he reads it as a gesture of friendship, or worse, thinks I've been wanting his favor to help rise through the ranks. And as you read about me fearing for the outcome, I've been standing in front of his office like some stray cat. I don't know why and how the hell did I get this sudden confidence, but my feet took me to this place, making me wonder if I'm really a person who thinks with his dick (which I meant I do it before I think it).

This is an enemy's den, why the fuck am I here anyway?

_Just an attempt. Holy shit._

My heart starting to beat fast as I stood straight on the door, gathering whatever courage and confidence I can get around this office. My hand was starting to tremble as I tried to reach for the door, but the repeating thoughts over my head was taking me back, making me wiggle it around. I breathed in and out deeply, again and again and again and again and again and again...

Until I had the audacity to reach the door knob while holding my breath.

But the gods of the east said nah, and opened the door to its own, revealing a smiling Team Manager, who was surprised. 'Oh, it's you. Good, I have something to ask you.'

'What is it?' I eagerly asked, but the huge smile on his face made me stood in my place like a huge block of ice, unaware what he's gonna say next.

'Can I treat you dinner later?'

To the rising gods of the east, I would like to offer my gratitude and say thank you!


	7. summer tires

_'Can I treat you dinner later?'  
_

_'Can I treat you dinner later?'_

_'Can I treat you dinner later?'_

That line has been on my head the whole afternoon while I was working. I can't believe I've been asked out by the man---the team manager himself. It was one of the oddest things I've ever experienced in my life; it's my first time being asked out by someone that I really like and I couldn't breath in happiness--even more in that weird ass surprise everyone had.

Streamers popped and everyone clapped their hands the moment Team Manager Kim asked me out for dinner, and with their giggling face laid some teasing, yelling _finally_ especially from Baekhyun's tall as boyfriend. Everyone was busy teasing the team manager about having the balls to ask someone while I stood there still believing that all of those didn't happen. What the fuck is happening---why the fuck does everyone know something that I don't know about?

While I was having a streaming event on that same line on my head, I was trying to imagine what kind of dinner date would the team manager give me. Is it gonna be the romantic type with lit candles and rose petals scattered on the floor like the ones in dramas? Or the funky one where they're gonna be on an exciting adventure like lovers in the moonlight? Or that awkward one where it gets steamy later o----

'Kim! Jong! Dae!'

'I really want to date you!'

'What?' Without realising, I yelled those magic words out of my nasty mouth---not knowing the total sub is here right in front of me. But when I did, I immediately buried my face on my tiny hands, trying to hide the embarrassment from my co-workers who noticed it due to my loud confession. Chanyeol was shocked and speechless at first, but knowing how he wants to mess with me despite being submissive to my friend, he smirked----which as I know after meeting him, is an indication of a nightmare happening. 'Still not over the team manager's invite, huh?'

'Shut up,' I retorted, trying to avert my eyes from him. 'What do you want again?'

'This is nothing, but I want to give you this.' He gave me a box wrapped in brown paper. I was happy about the thought, but knowing this secretary, I knew something wasn't right about this. Pretending, I thanked him with a smile before asking, 'What's this for?'

To my surprise, he winked at me. 'Just a little gift to use later with Team Manager Kim.'

Speechless, I looked at the mysterious box that was sitting on my desk. For some time, I tried avoiding it since it won't do me no good if I ever get more distracted than usual. But remembering Chanyeol's words that awakened all my knowledge being a host, there was doubt forming in my stomach. No, it won't be that right?

But what if it was _that_ what I think it was?

Immediately, I grabbed the box and ripped it up, praying that it isn't what I've been thinking the whole time. This time, the box in front of me was in a matte box with some fancy engraving that makes me doubt even more. Holding my breath, I slowly opened it....praying.... praying...

'What the fuck!' 

Sitting on some fancy velvet was a huge bottle of lube along with an aphrodisiac. Thinking it was already the stop of my nightmare, I tried to lift the velvet cloth to see if there is something stuffed on it, and to my horror----yes, to my horror----there were an enormous amount of condoms on it, along with a letter in a fancy pink color. Shaking, I opened the letter with my hands, hoping it wasn't another bullshit from Chanyeol. But alas, did I even doubt his abilities? 

_Dear Mr. Kim Jongdae,_

_I would've gone my way and booked you two a fancy love hotel afterwards, but that would be suspicious to Team Manager Kim's part, knowing he's like an old man. By the time we knew some chemistry is starting to form between you two, we decided that we will support you into becoming one. We hope you'll go all the way after this and we also wish you all the best! Fighting!_

_P.S. Our Team Manager Kim might be looking dominant, but he bottoms._

_With tender loving care,  
Secretary Park Chanyeol and Staff_

My whole body was shaking the whole time I was reading the letter. So they actually fucking knew that I have a crush on Team Manager---well, who wouldn't notice with this dumbass face of mine that's too obvious? But what shocked me the most was that they were starting to ship us together without us knowing the whole thing. The more I stayed in this company, the more I started to notice why I was hired despite how my background isn't suited for this---they were weird as hell!

Park Chanyeol, you little shit!

* * *

My work hours has ended... and I.....

I....

I'm gonna have dinner with Team Manager Kim!

Knowing that he was waiting for me outside, I became reluctant and was starting to get nervous every second I prepared. I shoved that box Chanyeol gave me into my bag, praying that it won't happen, and if it doesn't, I'd probably give to Sehun and let him fuck whoever he wants. Every step was heart-pounding for me, and the moment I saw him waiting for me while leaning on some probably-expensive car, I can feel my chest feeling tighter.

This is what you call a bottom? He probably pin me down if we ever do it!

'Oh, Jongdae. You're here.' My heart skipped a beat (shut up heart, will you?) when I heard him---even more when he smiled--holy shit, I could faint at this point. I went to him slowly, and noticed that everyone was looking at me, giggling. Sensing what I noticed, he laughed. 'Don't worry about them, Jongdae. They just love to tease.'

'Ah, y-yes.' I replied, trying my best not to look in to his eyes as I felt like I was starting to blush. Like a true gentleman he was, he opened the door of his car, making me hesitant to enter. But it was the best choice I made---the car was smelling so Kim Minseok! I tried to hide my excitement knowing that he'd just take me to dinner because he feels indebted to me taking care of him when he was drunk, but the smell of Minseok; the smell of Team Manager Kim; the smell of fresh flowers in the mornin---wait a second, why the fuck am I talking like some heroine in a drama?

'Let me do the seat belt for you.' To my surprise, he pulled himself closer to me, making me leave no choice but to take a good look in face as he does it on me. It was a nice view for me, knowing how I just do a full 180 with my heart going on and on seeing his beautiful eyes, pretty nose and that seductive lips--holy shit! I did not notice, but actually, he had stopped and was also looking on my face...

We both look into each other, but what's on my mind was a mess. I was starting to explode when he started to trail his eyes from my own down to my lips, but knowing he was going to kiss me, I panicked and said, 'Where are we going?'

That question seemed to turn him back to reality, making him move to his seat faster in a second with the obvious blush on his face. That---it was too fucking fast, and I wasn't able to catch up. Catching my breath, I soon came to know that the atmosphere between us was getting awkward in any moment so I decided to ask again, ' _Hyung,_ where will we eat?'

The place he pulled me into was a simple family restaurant. Chanyeol was right---all of the imaginative fantasies I've had weren't there, but knowing there was a Kim Minseok there, I am now contented. There were a lot of people around, but it seemed like it was some place that he frequents knowing the people working there somehow knew him. The awkward atmosphere we have before vanished and we both decided that we must avoid the thing that _almost_ happened between us in the car, making us indulge talking to each other while waiting for the food to be served to us. 

'Uhm, can I leave my bag to you? I'm gonna go to the comfort room.' I asked, and to my delight, he said yes that made me give him my bag and happily skipped into the room. A huge smile was on my face as I entered, whistling happily because holy _motherfucking_ shit----this is all too much for me! My heart was beating too much from being excited, and I can feel my knees melting until I realised...

The! fucking! box! of! condoms!

Without a second thought, I sprinted out to where our table was and grabbed my bag from him. Catching my breath, I was relieve to see the confused look on his face. I'm so fucking glad he didn't get to see the box and it's conten--- 'Why did you grab it, Jongdae?'

'Ah, t-that's because...' I looked around while trying to find a reason. 'Something m-ight lose. It's very important to me.'

'Ah, the condoms and the lube?' Hearing those on my own fucking ears made me freeze on the spot. 

The c...condoms.....

Did...he.. found... out...about them?

But I was wrong. Seeing how pale I was, he chuckled and replied, 'Why are you scared? I thought I was the only one who received that box from Chanyeol.'

Hearing his fucking name, I gritted my teeth in anger---that little shit, he's glad his boyfriend loves him more than me!

But after that, we then continued talking. Kim Minseok is such an interesting person---even though he doesn't talk much while pulling off that serious face, he talks in a huge amount of topics that made me fall harder for him. He's cute when he eats; with his cheeks becoming circles as he eats that makes him look like a chipmunk and when he fed me with the lettuce-wrapped bulgogi, I felt my chest tighten from all the feelings inside me becoming more crazier. I blushed so hard to the point where I think the temperature around us was the reason for this dream-like phenomenon. 

He offered to drive me to my apartment, making me feel like a dumbass in love as I kept looking at him while he busy driving. But the moment I realise we were getting nearer to our destination, I could not help but to feel rejected. If every love story ends, this dream-like event would also end.

'Good night, Jongdae.' I snapped back to reality when I finally noticed that we're on the apartment complex. Sadly, I sighed and gave him a smile. 'Good night too, _hyung._ Thank you for taking me to dinner, and uhm, I guess that was for the night you stayed at my apartment right?'

'Yeah,' He smiled, along with his eyes twinkling in the dark with something that I can't recognise. Seeing how confused I am, he chuckled and said, 'Also, there's one reason why I wanted to take you to dinner.'

'And that is?'

'Well come closer, I'll whisper it.' He motioned with his hand, making me move. The feeling of his breath on my ear was making me nervous, and with me being alert at this hour, he proceeded to whisper, 'Face me.'

And doing as what I was told, I did not expect him to do this after all.

In the happiest day of my love life, I, Kim Jongdae, was kissed by Kim Minseok.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Actually the title name of this chapter is an English translation of a Finnish metaphor _kesärenkaat_ meaning condom hehe (correct me if i'm wrong)


	8. wrong as i expected [ PART I ]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _But yeah, I'm a dumb bitch in love! This energy resides in me ever since I was born!_

_'Ah, do it more! That's it.. rub your fingers there...'_

A naked, sweating Minseok was in front of me, enjoying my fingers inside of him. Lust was all over his face, with the sweet melodies of pants and moans coming out of his mouth. I don't even know what to do, but as what he wanted, I pull them in and out as I tried to find his prostrate, creating squelching noises.

_'Ah!'_

His eyes widened, making my dick twitch in excitement as it stood erect in front of him. To my surprise, his soft, warm hand held it, jerking it off for a few times before pulling it near to his swollen hole, rubbing my head with it.

_'Please... hyung, you're late for work!'_

Huh?

_'Hyung, you're fucking----'_

With such vigor, something hard and big hit me---maybe a hand? It instantly woke me from my weird, clinging fantasy and then I found myself on the floor, with a mad Sehun in front of me, yelling. 'You dumb fuck!'

Huh? So it was all a dream? A wet dream?

Bewildered, I looked down on my crotch to see it fully erect and to my relief, it wasn't wet. Well, it would be wet if I really did fuck him in my dream. To my surprise again, I was hit by the _maknae,_ but this time, it was now a pillow. 'Hey, dumb fuck. Are you listening to me?!'

'How dare you say that to your _hyung_?' I asked, grumpy because I didn't get to finish what I dreamt. I stood for a while, trying to make my body adjust from the sudden waking before noticing that there is something wrong when Sehun just went silent, glaring at me like a stray cat.

'What's the problem?'

'Do you even realise what time it is?'

'Oh shit.'

* * *

Life in the office is still the same, with people minding their own business except Secretary Park, who had the time to annoy me than to tend to President Kim's work. I was almost late, but thanks to Sehun who sent me all the way with his motorbike, making me the subject of everyone's 'Is he your boyfriend?' questions. Life is so chill... relaxing...

Because I didn't get a glimpse of Team Manager Kim today!

Rather, I have a hard time facing him... ever since I've dreamt of that _very_ weird fantasy. And what's worse is that it all because of that kiss we shared the night before! The feeling of his lips still lingered on mine, and I'm still like a shoujo girl who just got their lips de-virginized! I'm like a Victorian...or maybe like Marie Antoinette who just fell in love with such small interactions....

But yeah, I'm a dumb bitch in love! This energy resides in me ever since I was born!

The whole day composed of me trying to avoid the Team Manager, while trying to make sure that I didn't look like I intended to. To my surprise, I didn't get to see him either. I think he was busy, or something, but nevermind, I have to do my job so that I can forget the dream I had earlier.

If and only if these people would stop asking if the _maknae_ is my boyfriend!

'So what's the name of your boyfriend?

'Is he a bad boy?'

'Oh, a motorbike! You're so lucky that you're living every girls' dream with your lover...'

As if I'll ever! That little bitch tried killing me on the way to work. I tried to explain to them that he isn't my boyfriend, but my roommate. But instead of easing the crowd, they even grew worse, squealing how it's slowly developing into a love story while at the same time pitying how their ship (which is me and Team Manager) is now sinking. I wanted to explain how much I wanted to be with Team Manager Kim, but I guess I can't help how they're too focused on Sehun instead.

I guess this romantic comedy went wrong.

The day is almost ending, and I didn't get to have a single, single interaction with my crush! I gave up on avoiding him now, but no matter how I waited; how I almost dried my eyes looking at the door that never had that cute cat-man going out.

But I miserably failed, being a dumbass idiot I am.

So as the office was about to close, I sighed heavily. I hoped much that he didn't hear the rumours of me having a boyfriend or anything, and if he did, I'll be explaining it to him thoroughly so that it would be clear for the both of us. I waited, and waited. I know he's not absent, knowing that the office is lit, and many people would come in and out.

But maybe he's busy... so I better go now.

Defeated, I stood up with my shoulders down in disappointment. I did not manage to see him or anything, nor to ask about the kiss that shook my dumbass self to the core. I was confused, surprised, excited---there were a lot of emotions inside of me that triggered when I tried recalling that same memory.

But maybe he just likes teasing me, right? If so, then I claim my status as the dumbest bitch of Seoul. Disappointed, I started walking down the hallway.

'Uhm, excuse me!'

Fast, running footsteps along with an unfamiliar voice reached my ears, making me turn my head to see a very tall man coming towards me. He had a kind smile of his face, with the mole on his left upper lip standing out the most. It took a moment for me to realise that it was Mr. Jung, the one who was close to Team Manager. As soon as he reached me, he held his knees to balance himself, panting and gasping for air. I was bewildered seeing him, but I tried my best not to get awkward with him. 'Uh?'

'Oh, you're Kim Jongdae, right?'

'Yes.' Hearing my answer, he immediately smiled. He's handsome, but no matter how handsome he is---MINSEOK IS THE ONE I LOVE! To my surprise, he extended a hand to me. 'I'm Jung Yunho from the sales department. Nice to meet you.'

'Nice to meet you, too.' I replied, shaking his hand while giving the best smile I had. I'm still confused why he'd be running all his way when he can talk to me the next day, so I asked, 'Can I ask why...?'

'Oh, you're wondering why I'm running all the way here?' He smiled. I was too focused on his face when I suddenly saw Team Manager walking out. Shocked, I decided to put my attention to Mr. Jung, whose talking did not reach me. But I cannot do it, knowing how the cat-eyed man's pheromones were trying to make me look at him.

And as much as he was going nearer, he was slowly starting to notice us. And without doubt, he met my gaze, along with Mr. Jung asking the question that shocked the both of us.

'...So Mr. Kim, can you move to the sales department with me?'

Huh?


	9. wrong as i expected [ PART 2 ]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _But was I to fall for that? No! You think I'm a k-drama protagonist who falls in love with a man just because of his minimal actions? No! Would I fall in to the deepest parts of romance just because he did all of those for me? N O !_
> 
> _Well, double standard. I fell for Mr. Kim in that way._

And that is, ladies and gentlemen, is the start of how my ever-so-calm schedule became a mess.

The following days afterwards, Mr. Jung is always at where I was, talking to me with such sugar-coated words that made me feel like ants are gonna come at me at any moment.

You read it right, right? Not rarely, not seldom, not sometimes, not often!

Always!

There are dozen of things that he'll do once he'll spot me somewhere that's different from persuading me to join the sales department. He'd either place a warm cup of coffee on my desk with a sticky note that has a crooked smiley face on it, or would bring me out at lunch. But other than that, he would wait for me until I finish, and then would take me to dinner and then bring me home. 

In which made everyone speculate _\---yes,_ also Baekhyun and Sehun----that I've finally gotten over my crush and decided to have a man.

Fuck y'all! I still love that cat-eyed man! I would send death glares to everyone who tried teasing me, saying that I should say yes and become Mr. Jung's boyfriend because they pity him for working hard on courting me. Is it really my fault? Did I force him to do that? In fact, he wasn't even courting me for love, but for my sweetest yes to move to his department.

I am tired of this bullshit. Well, I have to end this hell-long agony.

Speaking of which, this situation made it more impossible for me to see Mr. Kim. I was still wondering about his reaction the night Mr. Jung introduced himself to me, because it was so strange, like it was the first time he heard this kind of phenomena. But no matter how I pray to the rising gods of the east, I had the chance of -99.9% of seeing him. 

But there was one instance where I finally saw his lovely face, but I was bewildered the moment our eyes met: he immediately averted his eyes, as if he was ignoring me. How I wish that it was the reason, but remembering my position, there was no way that he will see me in the same way I see him. Pretty hopeless, right?

But even so, I still held on to that tiny hope.

It was already late when I finally finished my tasks, and I decided to take my time before going out by stretching my muscles for a bit, twisting them until I get that satisfying pop from my bones. Before I went out, I took a glance at Mr. Kim's office. He was still there (I guess), judging from the lights that were on. But knowing that he's busy and that it would be a bother for him if I enter, I immediately went down to the lobby. As I expected, I saw a familiar face waiting eagerly on one of those cream-colored velvet sofas.

It was Mr. Jung, who---to my surprise, was peculiarly handsome and sparkling today. It took him a few moments to notice me coming towards to where he was, and immediately flashed that kind smile of his. 'Oh, Kim- _ssi._ '

'Hello, Mr. Jung.' I bowed, smiling sheepishly as he stood up before bowing back at me. We then headed towards to his car, and as he drove, he asked, 'So where do you want to go?'

'Pardon?' I asked, surprised at that question. Mr. Jung would always choose the place since the dinner's on him. It took me by surprise, and I was taken back for a moment. 'I want to know where would you like to eat?'

Since he's the one paying for the dinners we had, does this mean that...? 

Seeing the conflicting look on my face, he laughed slightly. 'Don't worry, it would be on me.'

My cheeks immediately went red, flustered and embarrassed at his statement. It made me bury my head on his hands. Am I really this money-conscious?

After a few moments of contemplation, I managed to spout an answer. I told him about a little ramen place in _Nakseongdae-dong._ It was where Sehun, Baekhyun and I would eat whenever we have free time around. The moment we arrived at that place, I almost cried from the nostalgia. Fuck, this is the place that made me the man I am right now. 

'So this was the place that you've been with for many years?'

'Yes, Mr. Jung.' I spoke, slurping my bowl. To my surprise, a hand was on mine, making me look up to see him looking at me with such tender eyes. 'Please, call me Yunho.'

'Yunho...' I repeated after him like a child. A huge grin appeared on his lips, as if he was waiting for me to say it, but it was conflicting since his eyebrows were furrowed. Confused, I asked. 'What's happening, Yunho- _sunbaenim?'_

Wah, that feels weird! But the furrowing eyebrows he has became more furrowed (Was I right?), making me more confused than he was. Is he trying to act cute? But finally, he answered. 'Is it okay to call you...Jongdae?'

Oh.

OH.

I immediately nodded like those toys you see in cars. To my surprise, he gave that innocent, sweet laugh. But was I to fall for that? No! You think I'm a k-drama protagonist who falls in love with a man just because of his minimal actions? No! Would I fall in to the deepest parts of romance just because he did all of those for me? N O !

Well, double standard. I fell for Mr. Kim in that way. 

So that thing that I was supposed to was delayed for a couple of times because first, it was rude to intrude or change the energy that Mr. Jung has, and second, I had to gather courage and prepare for the worst thing possible. When he offered to drive me home, I declined and said that I wanted to go to the station. He was taken back by that, but he actually complied. 

So here we are, walking down on the station that has a few, but not that little, people around. We walked without saying anything, and it feels surreal to me. But while waiting, I thought: _This is it, little bitch!_

'Yun--'

'I have to tell you something, Jongdae- _ssi._ ' It was the first time that I heard him speak seriously, but sensing how serious he was, I ended up having my mouth shut. 'Please don't think that I'm doing all of this out of convincing you to move to the sales department.'

'Huh?' I asked. I wasn't confused, but rather, was anxious on what he will say next. Is this even the worst situation possible? I clenched my fist as I saw the nervous look on his face. He was opening and closing his mouth as if he wanted to say something, but the words won't come up. He suddenly turned around for a few moments, moving intensely that I was frozen in confusion. But when he faced me, finally, the look on his face was definitely a surprise. He was blushing.

'I'm saying that I like you...Jongdae- _ssi._ '

Oh... so that was the worst thing possible.

Oh! It was a confession.

I immediately blinked, hoping that I finally got what he was trying to say. He looked like a Samoyed waiting for an answer or a command, along with that twinkling hope on his eyes. Seeing that----well I panicked.

Not outside. But inside. I panicked. WHY IS THERE A CONFESSION?

This wasn't what I planned, but seeing his face, I felt pity. Damn, Mr. Jung, you fell for a pathetic person. But instead of showing dislike, I gave a small smile, but spoke with total awkwardness. 'O-oh....'

'Yeah...' He replied, averting his eyes from me before putting his clasped hands over his head. 'Well, now that I finally said it, I think I should stop doing this to you---I should give you space.'

HUH? I widened my eyes mentally upon listening to him. This was better than what I've expected. All of the things that were running on my head previously were gone, but there is one big thing left in my hands.

He confessed.

What am I supposed to do with this?

'Please think about it.' were the last words Mr. Jung said before he went off. Now that everything's clear, my mind was starting to become a mess. I have to make a decision---an answer or any little thing. If I were to say yes, that means goodbye, Mr. Kim, right? Plus, I'm not overly in love with him---I just find him cute, that's all. But isn't that what dating today meant?

But if I were to say no, things would get awkward, and the worst, he'd treat me with contempt.

While my mind was full of dilemma, a cold hand suddenly grabbed my shoulder.

I didn't know I was starring in Oksu Station Ghost.

'BITCH WHAT THE FUCK!'


End file.
